MSDS: Women

[recumbentbob]

ELEMENT: Women

SYMBOL: Wo

DISCOVERER: Adam

ATOMIC MASS: Accepted at 53.6kg, but known to vary from
40-200kg

OCCURRENCES: Copious quantities in all urban areas

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Surface usually covered in painted film

2. Boils at nothing; freezes w/o known reason

3. Melts if given special treatment

4. Bitter if incorrectly used

5. Found in various states from virgin metal to common ore

6. Yields if pressure applied in correct places

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Has great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of
precious stones

2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances

3. May explode spontaneously w/o prior warning and for no
apparent reason

4. Insoluble in liquids, but libido increases greatly when
saturated with alcohol

5. Most powerful money reducing agent known to man