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02-14-2018, 08:26 PM | #1 |
Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Location: West Central Washington
Posts: 194
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Some off color, non PC jokes - just warning you
You're in a "red light district". You come across an establishment and notice there is one man leaving with a smile on his face. You also realize there is one man inside, you then observe two men hurrying to enter, and one man sitting outside in his car just idling.
Question: What nationality are these men? In order: Finnish Himalayan Russians Polish (he's waiting for the light to change) Donald Trump and Obama ended up in the same barber shop. Each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were even afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Obama in his chair reached for the aftershave. Obama was quick to stop him saying, "No thanks, my wife Michelle will smell that and think I've been in a whorehouse all day." The second barber turned to Trump and said, "How about you sir?" Trump replied, "Go ahead; my wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like." Just Fred...... A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name. 'Fred,' he replies. 'Fred what?' the officer asks. 'Just Fred,' the man responds. The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and, write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. 'Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?' The biker replies, 'It's a long story, so stay with me.' I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS. Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD. Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.' The officer walked away in tears, laughing. We shall no longer call them "shithole" countries. Going forward, they shall be "Turd World" countries. |
02-15-2018, 10:52 AM | #2 |
Sr. Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Hot Springs, SD and other warm and dry places
Posts: 1,043
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Thank you, a little bit of morning humor is appreciated.
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02-15-2018, 12:10 PM | #3 |
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: New Castle, In.
Posts: 365
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The barber shop was the best. LMAO!!!
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02-17-2018, 08:11 AM | #4 |
Sr. Contributor
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 18,287
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This makes sense and it is really funny!
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Gerry Martineau / 802 VT / VBA #0892 /[email]glmjgm@gmail.com[email] |
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