Quarantined

[TrapperAH1G]

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word. Maybe this could explain it! When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do - you forward jokes. And to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get? A forwarded joke. So, my friend, next time when you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke, but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.

Quarantined

Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.

I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

Still haven't decided where to go for Easter - The Living Room or The Bedroom.

Every few days try on your jeans just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard time to the Twilight Zone.

This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house , told my dog...we laughed a lot.

So, after this quarantine...will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?

My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee, it cleans the toilet.

I'm so excited- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.

Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

Homeschooling is not going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

Quarantine Day 7: I am totally fed up with babysitting my Mother’s grandchildren.

Day 4 of Homeschooling: Not going well, 2 students suspended for fighting, 1 teacher on probation for drinking on the job.

Day 5 of Homeschooling: My child just said “I hope I don't have the same teacher next year.”... I think I should be offended but it’s the first thing we’ve agreed on since this school opened.

Day 6 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

[The Black Knight]

[miltonsain]

that's funny, I threaten my students hourly, lol

[smokier]

Day 6; Creative little student. Did you give them a gold star?
What happens if you suspend them?



(Thanks for the chuckles...)


Ride safe,
Smokier