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02-24-2020, 04:40 PM | #1 |
Sr. Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: The Newforest, England
Posts: 4,664
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Bad day for pussy.
True story. A hot sunny day, and hard working bricklayer was driving on his way home from work. A black cat ran across the road, and he heard a thump. So thinking he had hit it, he stopped. Then walked back to see if he could help the poor animal. Looking on the grass to the left & right, he found the cat. It was just laying there in the long grass, motionless, but breathing really hard. Full of remorse, and not really knowing what to do, he decided it was best to put it out of its misery. He went back to his van and got a huge spanner. And so with great remorse, he twatted the cat over the head, and killed it. Almost immediately, a woman stuck her head over the fence of one of the houses that back onto the road. She started screaming at him, calling him a murderer, and saying she was going to call the police. After spending ages trying to assure her that he only did what he thought was best for the cat, he drove home.That night a policeman tapped his door. Having explained, the man was asked to come outside to look at his van. After opening the bonnet, the policeman shone his torch inside. Only to reveal, a pretty well fucked up black cat, wrapped around the alternator belts. It turned out that the other black cat, the one on the grass verge, was just snoring away in the sunshine. When it was twatted to death, with a 3/4 Whitworth socket and extension bar. Moral of the story. Never trust a black pussy. And allway's buy good quality tools.
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when this you see, remember me, and bear me in your mind, let all the world say what they may, speak of me as you find. Last edited by mick56; 02-25-2020 at 10:26 AM. |
02-24-2020, 08:58 PM | #2 |
Sr. Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Tallahassee FL
Posts: 1,039
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You simply must take the time when you are sober to do some research on the definition of humor, true story.
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02-25-2020, 03:00 PM | #3 |
Sr. Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Hot Springs, SD and other warm and dry places
Posts: 1,043
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Love your humor Mick........a bit on the dark side but I still love it.
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02-25-2020, 03:09 PM | #4 |
Sr. Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: The Newforest, England
Posts: 4,664
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I cracked up the first time i read it.
__________________
when this you see, remember me, and bear me in your mind, let all the world say what they may, speak of me as you find. |
02-29-2020, 02:17 AM | #5 |
Sr. Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: The Newforest, England
Posts: 4,664
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Bollocks to you too. You miserable bastard
__________________
when this you see, remember me, and bear me in your mind, let all the world say what they may, speak of me as you find. |
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