Thats when the fight started

[oldbikers]

One year, I decided
to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last
year!"

And that's how the fight started.....



I asked my wife,
'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!'
she said.

So I suggested,

'How about the kitchen?'

And that's when the fight started...



My wife and I are
watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in
bed.

I turned to her and said,

'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,'

she answered. I then said,

'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying

'Yes..'



So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'


And that's when the fight started...



I took my wife to a
restaurant.



The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.



'I'll have the rump steak, medium rare, please.'



He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'



'Nah, she can order for herself.'



And that's when the fight started.....



My wife sat down on
the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.



She asked, 'What's on TV?'



I said, 'Dust'



And then the fight started..





My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary.



She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3
seconds.'



I bought her a set of bathroom scales.



And then the fight started...



My wife and I were
sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring
at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby
table.



I asked her, 'Do you know him?'



'Yes,' she sighed,



'He's my old boyfriend.... I understand he took to drinking right
after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been
sober since.'



'My God!' I said,



'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'



And then the fight started...





I rear-ended a car this morning.. So, there we were alongside the
road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.



You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things
just seem funny?



Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!



He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,



'I AM NOT HAPPY!'



So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are
you?'

And then the fight started





THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER:



When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to
me that I should get it fixed..



But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the
shed, the Ute, making beer.. Always something more important to
me.



Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.



When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,
busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched
silently for a short time and then went into the house.. I was gone
only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a
toothbrush.



I said,



'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the
driveway.'



The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

[sly]

women have noooooo sence of humor...

[phred]

Funny stuff!

[ringadingh]

Im gonna try using a couple of those on my wife.
If I disapear youll know she can't take a joke.

[AlabamaNomadRider]

Those were great Jim. Glad to see someone besides me and Rooster and Steve posting on the lighter side. I have missed reading any jokes for a while now.