In Association with VBA Web : Memorial | Merchandise



Important Info : Please Read!
If this is your first visit to our new forum (est. 9.20.11) and you're already registered on the old forum, you'll have to request a new password in order to log in here. To do so, please Click Here and fill in the proper info. You must use the email address that you originally registered with on the old forum. You will then be emailed a new password (if you don't see it, please check your spam/junk folder). If you have any problems at all, please email us at mail@VulcanBagger.com. Thanks!



Go Back   Vulcan Bagger Forums > General > Off-Topic > Lighter Side/Jokes
Register FAQ Upgrade Membership Community Calendar Today's Posts Search
Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 11-09-2010, 10:14 AM   #1
rooster1   rooster1 is offline
Sr. Member
 
rooster1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Cheltenham , Penna.
Posts: 1,091
Drinking Too Much

A man making the Bar scene, was fairly intoxicated when he went into a popular night spot.

The bartender refused to serve him and told him he should go home.

Man: My wife will kill me.

Bartender: Take her some candy.

Man: She is on a diet.

Bartender: Take her some flowers.

Man: She has allergies.

Bartender: Tell her a poem.

Man: She loves poems ... I don’t know any.

Bartender: Here is one for you. The Bartender recited.

YOU BABYLONIAN WITCH ..
BLUE EYES AND RUBY LIPS...
BENEATH THINE EYES PASSION LIES
AND THAT’S WHAT MAKES MY PASSION RISE.
-"Shakespeare"

Man: I can handle that.

So walking home the man was reciting to himself the poem. When he gets home he is unable to find his keys. So he knocks on the door.

Wife: You better not of been drinking.

Man: Sweetness, I have a poem for you!

Wife: It had better be good

The man starts to recite the poem...

YOU BABYLONIAN BITCH ..
BLUE EYES AND PURPLE TITS.
BETWEEN YOUR THIGHS A pu**y LIES
AND THAT’S WHAT MAKES MY PECKER RISE.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2010, 10:16 AM   #2
AlabamaNomadRider   AlabamaNomadRider is offline
Sr. Contributor
 
AlabamaNomadRider's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Boaz, Alabama
Posts: 13,742
Send a message via AIM to AlabamaNomadRider Send a message via Yahoo to AlabamaNomadRider
Drinking Too Much

__________________

Gene Cross, Jr.
Boaz, Alabama
KawaNOW/VBA #1181
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2010, 10:45 AM   #3
Loafer   Loafer is offline
Sr. Contributor
 
Loafer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 18,287
Drinking Too Much

Some never learn....
__________________
Gerry Martineau / 802 VT / VBA #0892 /[email]glmjgm@gmail.com[email]
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2010, 12:02 PM   #4
BudMan   BudMan is offline
 
BudMan's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Greenwood, Ark.
Posts: 4,736
Drinking Too Much

__________________


Dave Jesse
2012 1700 Gray/Black Voyager
2006 1600 Nomad Green/Silver Sold
VBA #1108

2010- Eureka Springs - Antlers - 2011- Maggie Valley - Antlers
2012- Margaritaville Ride - Van Buren - Antlers - 2013- Estes Park - Antlers
2014- Mountain View - Antlers - 2015- Eureka Springs - Antlers
2016- Salem - Antlers - 2017- Eureka Springs - Lake George - Antlers - 2018- Custer - Antlers
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2010, 12:12 PM   #5
moloprintz   moloprintz is offline
Advanced Member
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Knoxville, TN
Posts: 548
Drinking Too Much

Good one!
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2010, 06:51 PM   #6
Stump   Stump is offline
Sr. Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Scottown ohio
Posts: 1,225
Drinking Too Much

__________________
Everyday is a holiday when you love your job, And if you don't you live in a nightmare.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-09-2010, 08:29 PM   #7
cnc   cnc is offline
 
cnc's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Montreal QC
Posts: 12,034
Drinking Too Much

And what's wrong with the second poem?, pass me another beer will ya.
__________________

Norm Ward
2008 blue / silver nomad
kawanow / VBA #01136
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-10-2010, 10:05 PM   #8
wompus   wompus is offline
 
wompus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Gainesville, Ga.
Posts: 1,950
Send a message via Skype™ to wompus
Drinking Too Much

OK, I have to jump into this one with the correct version.
Over the last 50 years there has been a change to that poem, but I still remember the original one.
The line was..

"Between her eyes her beauty lies which makes my inspiration rise... by Shakespeare."

The drunk said..
"Between her thighs her pu**y lies which makes my dick rise... by Snakesh*t"


That's better! ;)

.
__________________

Mike "WOMPUS' Nieznany
1999 Nomad "Fronkensteen"
Viet Nam Vet 68-69-70
KawaNOW #00577
I'm sarcastic and have a smart ass attitude. It's a natural defense against DRAMA, BULLSHIT & STUPIDITY!!
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-14-2010, 08:10 PM   #9
ringadingh   ringadingh is offline
 
ringadingh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Newmarket Ontario Canada
Posts: 35,387
Drinking Too Much

__________________

2002 Nomad aka Bountyhunter
VBA #27
VROC #18951
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Smoking , Drinking,& Motels rooster1 Lighter Side/Jokes 7 04-04-2011 04:43 AM
Drinking Buddies wompus Lighter Side/Jokes 4 09-29-2010 05:48 PM
Drinking on flights..... jmorrow Lighter Side/Jokes 3 11-05-2008 05:39 PM
Out drinking all night jmorrow Lighter Side/Jokes 4 09-22-2008 08:31 PM
Drinking in peace Lighter Side/Jokes 6 05-11-2008 04:26 AM

In Association with VBA Web Join VBA Web Now!

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 09:22 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.