Green Banana

Loafer · 05-13-2016, 08:50 AM

Green Banana
This bloke is working on the buses and collecting tickets. He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the bloke is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas he's sent to the electric chair.

On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.

"Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?"

"Yes" answers the executioner.

"Can I have that green banana?" the man asks.

The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits until he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it.

"Can I go?" the man asks.

"I suppose so" says the executioner, "that's never happened before."

The man leaves and eventually gets his job back on the buses selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair. The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas. The bloke is again sat in the chair.

"What is your final wish?" asks the executioner.

"Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch?" says the condemned man.

The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still there smiling in the chair. The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.

Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The executioner rigs up all the electricity in America to the chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling.

"What's your final wish?" asks the executioner.

"Well" says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch?"

The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner then pulls the handle and a zillion million trillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark.

"I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand. How you can still be alive after all that?" He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't it?" he asked.

"Nahh" said the bloke,"...I'm just a really bad conductor."

Old Bear · 05-13-2016, 09:53 AM

Oh, that is sooooooo bad!

Atom · 05-13-2016, 02:29 PM

I want the last 30 seconds of my life back

**cnc** · 05-13-2016, 02:38 PM

Gerry, your just a really bad joke teller! But I did learn one thing, I never knew they used the term " bloke " in Texas!

OldSchool · 05-13-2016, 03:10 PM

I bet you could hardly wait to see what responses you were going to get.

And as far as the other one you posted, you must have started typing that in the beginning of the week. I'm going to read that one in chapters.

**cnc** · 05-13-2016, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OldSchool

I bet you could hardly wait to see what responses you were going to get.

And as far as the other one you posted, you must have started typing that in the beginning of the week. I'm going to read that one in chapters.

I'm betting that one was a three nap joke.

Loafer · 05-14-2016, 08:28 AM

hehehe...you are under the spell of Sasquatch...

**hank43** · 06-04-2016, 03:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Loafer

hehehe...you are under the spell of Sasquatch...

are you Steven King?

hank43

05-13-2016, 08:50 AM	#1
Loafer Sr. Contributor Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 18,287	Green Banana Green Banana This bloke is working on the buses and collecting tickets. He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman half getting on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the bloke is sent down for murder and seeing as it's Texas he's sent to the electric chair. On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish. "Well" says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?" "Yes" answers the executioner. "Can I have that green banana?" the man asks. The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits until he's eaten it. When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it. "Can I go?" the man asks. "I suppose so" says the executioner, "that's never happened before." The man leaves and eventually gets his job back on the buses selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The bloke is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair. The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas. The bloke is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch?" says the condemned man. The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The bloke eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch. Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still there smiling in the chair. The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go. Well, would you believe, the bloke gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair again. The executioner rigs up all the electricity in America to the chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling. "What's your final wish?" asks the executioner. "Well" says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch?" The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner then pulls the handle and a zillion million trillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark. "I give up" says the executioner, "I don't understand. How you can still be alive after all that?" He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't it?" he asked. "Nahh" said the bloke,"...I'm just a really bad conductor." __________________ Gerry Martineau / 802 VT / VBA #0892 /[email]glmjgm@gmail.com[email]

05-13-2016, 09:53 AM	#2
Old Bear Sr. Member Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Clarksville, TN Posts: 1,434	Oh, that is sooooooo bad! __________________ Jerry "Old Bear" Barker Clarksville, TN Americas Guardians PS MC President, Tennessee 16-A VBA #02203 "Blaze" 2017 Vaquero "Black Magic" 2011 Vaquero, 69k miles, handed down to my son for hopefully many more miles!

05-13-2016, 02:29 PM	#3
Atom Member Join Date: Jan 2016 Location: Lloydminster, Alberta Posts: 124	I want the last 30 seconds of my life back __________________ 2006 Vulcan Nomad 2003 Road Star Silverado SOLD

05-13-2016, 02:38 PM	#4
cnc Join Date: May 2009 Location: Montreal QC Posts: 12,034	Gerry, your just a really bad joke teller! But I did learn one thing, I never knew they used the term " bloke " in Texas! __________________ Norm Ward 2008 blue / silver nomad kawanow / VBA #01136

05-13-2016, 03:10 PM	#5
OldSchool Sr. Member Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: Ballwin,MO. Posts: 1,542	I bet you could hardly wait to see what responses you were going to get. And as far as the other one you posted, you must have started typing that in the beginning of the week. I'm going to read that one in chapters. __________________

05-14-2016, 08:28 AM	#7
Loafer Sr. Contributor Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 18,287	hehehe...you are under the spell of Sasquatch... __________________ Gerry Martineau / 802 VT / VBA #0892 /[email]glmjgm@gmail.com[email]