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08-16-2010, 12:22 AM | #1 |
Sr. Contributor
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UPS Pilots and Maintenance Crews
Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma
to fix one; a reassurance to those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in cockpit. S: Something tightened in cockpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on back-order. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-feet-per-minute descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what friction locks are for. P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. S: IFF is always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windshield. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!) S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious. P: Target radar hums. S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. P: Mouse in cockpit. S: Cat installed. And the best one for last. P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. S: Took hammer away from the midget.
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Gene Cross, Jr. Boaz, Alabama KawaNOW/VBA #1181 |
08-16-2010, 06:31 AM | #2 |
Sr. Contributor
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 18,287
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UPS Pilots and Maintenance Crews
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Gerry Martineau / 802 VT / VBA #0892 /[email]glmjgm@gmail.com[email] |
08-16-2010, 05:05 PM | #3 |
Sr. Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Scottown ohio
Posts: 1,225
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UPS Pilots and Maintenance Crews
Funnyist one yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Everyday is a holiday when you love your job, And if you don't you live in a nightmare. |
08-16-2010, 05:47 PM | #4 |
Sr. Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: St.-Eustache, Québec, Canada
Posts: 2,837
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UPS Pilots and Maintenance Crews
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Sylvain "Sly" Lafrance St. Eustache, Quebec, Canada eh!! 2004 Blue & Silver (the fastest colors) Gone but not forgotten 2012 Ebony Black Kawasaski Concours 14 |
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