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03-03-2008, 10:22 PM | #1 |
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado/Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 3,390
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Anyone here besides me play golf?
If anyone here plays golf, you know all about these. If not...nevermind!
The Natural Laws of Golf 1. If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age. 2. The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental. 3. Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three. 4. When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again. 5. Any change works for a maximum of three holes - - or at a minimum of not at all. 6. No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse. 7. Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing. 8. When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls. 9. If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there. 10. The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing. 11. The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all of your many other errors. 12. If it ain't broke, try changing your grip. 13. Golfers who claim they don't cheat, also lie. 14. Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot. 15. A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck. 16. It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 8. 17. Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut. 18. Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts. 19. It's not a gimme if you're still away. 20. The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree. 21. There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces, and bounces just the way you meant to play it. 22. You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch 90% of the time. 23. Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe. 24. If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard. 25. To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his backswing by his handicap. Example: backswing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing 300mph. 26. There are two things you can learn by stopping your backswing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove. 27. Hazards attract; fairways repel. 28. You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade" on the ball, but no golfer can put "straight" on the ball. 29. A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours. 30. If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. 31. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint. 32. Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
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Audiogooroo - Daryl Porter Colorado Springs, CO VBA #248 VROC #17261 1999 Grn/Grn Nomad |
03-04-2008, 01:25 AM | #2 |
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Newmarket Ontario Canada
Posts: 35,387
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Anyone here besides me play golf?
A lot of true facts there. I havn't played in about 20 years, mainly because I really suck at it. There were days on the course that looked like it was a mine field after I played through, and my pals were serious golfers also. Serious golfers took the fun out of it for me. And the course marshals said I can't work on my tan and to put my shirt back on.
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2002 Nomad aka Bountyhunter VBA #27 VROC #18951 |
03-04-2008, 10:21 AM | #3 |
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Jefferson City, MO
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Anyone here besides me play golf?
My idea of golf is windmills and tunnels! I would suck at golf!
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Jeff Platz VBA #0002 VBA VP-Global B.A.C.A. Hoss 2005 "StrongBear" Black/Silver Todd and BD |
03-04-2008, 11:25 AM | #4 |
Sr. Contributor
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Anyone here besides me play golf?
Played at CSULB as a freshman and sophmore with Mark O'Mera and a transfer buddy of his. I had a good game once but would struggle to break 80 now.....
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I love my Victory Cross Country Tour 106. Smells like Victory! Ultra's are Limited There are two types of Harley riders. Those that trailer them and those that push them. The most Interesting Man in the World "Find the things in life you don't do well and don't do those things" Member # 0005 |
03-04-2008, 12:03 PM | #5 |
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Newmarket Ontario Canada
Posts: 35,387
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Anyone here besides me play golf?
I would struggle to break 120!
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2002 Nomad aka Bountyhunter VBA #27 VROC #18951 |
03-04-2008, 02:17 PM | #6 | |
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado/Las Vegas, NV
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Anyone here besides me play golf?
Quote:
I pretty much shoot bogey golf, but have a good time at it.
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Audiogooroo - Daryl Porter Colorado Springs, CO VBA #248 VROC #17261 1999 Grn/Grn Nomad |
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03-04-2008, 03:13 PM | #7 |
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Jefferson City, MO
Posts: 6,272
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Anyone here besides me play golf?
What's the worst score you can get? That would be mine!
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Jeff Platz VBA #0002 VBA VP-Global B.A.C.A. Hoss 2005 "StrongBear" Black/Silver Todd and BD |
03-04-2008, 03:18 PM | #8 |
Sr. Member
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Anyone here besides me play golf?
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03-04-2008, 03:28 PM | #9 |
Top Contributor
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Jefferson City, MO
Posts: 6,272
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Anyone here besides me play golf?
That's exactly how that damn game looks to me!
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Jeff Platz VBA #0002 VBA VP-Global B.A.C.A. Hoss 2005 "StrongBear" Black/Silver Todd and BD |
03-04-2008, 03:33 PM | #10 | |
Sr. Contributor
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Anyone here besides me play golf?
Quote:
__________________
I love my Victory Cross Country Tour 106. Smells like Victory! Ultra's are Limited There are two types of Harley riders. Those that trailer them and those that push them. The most Interesting Man in the World "Find the things in life you don't do well and don't do those things" Member # 0005 |
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03-04-2008, 03:36 PM | #11 | |
Sr. Contributor
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Anyone here besides me play golf?
Quote:
I pretty much shoot bogey golf, but have a good time at it.[/quote:cmoa0ut7] Bogey golf is still good golf. It's funny what happens when you don't play. I can still go to the driving range and hit pretty much all of them on the screws with all clubs but get me out on the course and that hole has a cover over it now! My length is starting to disappear at 50 but I can still send it some.
__________________
I love my Victory Cross Country Tour 106. Smells like Victory! Ultra's are Limited There are two types of Harley riders. Those that trailer them and those that push them. The most Interesting Man in the World "Find the things in life you don't do well and don't do those things" Member # 0005 |
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03-04-2008, 04:22 PM | #12 |
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 283
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Anyone here besides me play golf?
Jussmatt
If you can play to a 7 then you are not spending enough time at work. The best I ever carried was an 11 and I worked hard to get it. shep |
03-04-2008, 04:59 PM | #13 |
Sr. Member
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Anyone here besides me play golf?
Well... I've been playing golf and tennis all my life. At one time I actually was a scratch golfer..and yes, I worked at a golf course on the weekends. Unfortunately for me, I played tennis in High School instead of golf and I'm sure I would have gotten a scholarship had I done so. Oh well... I don't get to play as often anymore as I used to...about twice a month now... but with summer coming up, I'm working on it!! I've got some tournaments coming up...so I'll have to get back into the swing of things!! LOL!
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03-04-2008, 05:51 PM | #14 | |
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Anyone here besides me play golf?
Quote:
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03-04-2008, 07:47 PM | #15 |
Sr. Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Beloit,WI
Posts: 4,256
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Anyone here besides me play golf?
I like playing mini golf!!!!!! And Robin Williams is awesome, I loved him in good morning vietnam!!!!
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