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01-02-2012, 10:19 AM | #1 |
Stupid Questions
The below excerpts appeared in the Salt Lake Tribune. They were taken from real court records.
Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn’t know anything about it until the next morning? Q: What happened then? A: He told me, he says, “I have to kill you because you can identify me.” Q: Did he kill you? Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war? The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls? Were you alone or by yourself? Q: I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture? A: That’s me. Q: Were you present when that picture was taken? Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in? Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement? A: Yes. Q: And these stairs, did they go up also? Q: Now then, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated? Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now? A: I’ll be three months on March 12th. Q: Apparently then, the date of conception was around January 12th? A: Yes. Q: What were you doing at that time? Do you have any children or anything of that kind? Was that the same nose you broke as a child? Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable? A: I used to be. Q: How many times have you committed suicide? So, you were gone until you returned? You don’t know what it was, and you didn’t know what it looked like, but can you describe it? Q: Have you lived in this town all your life? A: Not yet. A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing a stupid question, interrupted himself and said, “Your Honor, I’d like to strike the next question.” Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined that body of Mr. Huntington at St. Mary’s Hospital? A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 5:30 P.M. Q: And Mr. Huntington was dead at the time, is that correct? A: No, you idiot, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was performing an autopsy on him! ..
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Mike "WOMPUS' Nieznany 1999 Nomad "Fronkensteen" Viet Nam Vet 68-69-70 KawaNOW #00577 I'm sarcastic and have a smart ass attitude. It's a natural defense against DRAMA, BULLSHIT & STUPIDITY!! |
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01-02-2012, 10:36 AM | #2 |
Sr. Contributor
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 18,287
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These people went to school, right?
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Gerry Martineau / 802 VT / VBA #0892 /[email]glmjgm@gmail.com[email] |
01-02-2012, 11:35 AM | #3 |
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,108
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And did you attend any classes while you were in school?
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2006 Vulcan 1600 Classic "George III" (Patricia's) 2006 Vulcan 1600 Nomad "Grace" (Mark's) Mark Clark VBA #1619 TaibhseDaid@Gmail.Com "Irish" @ Maricopa County Chapter of B.A.C.A. Phoenix, AZ |
01-02-2012, 11:46 AM | #4 |
Sr. Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
Posts: 1,137
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And graduated
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Live in the NOW ! |
01-02-2012, 04:31 PM | #5 |
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: 6th Floor up at the The Nervous Hospital up in East Central State, NC
Posts: 7,454
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Teacher: Kawhead. "Did you do your homework last night"?
Kawhead: Yes mam, I swear to God. Teacher: Well, where is it? Kawhead: That depends on what your definition of "is" is. |
01-02-2012, 08:11 PM | #6 |
Sr. Contributor
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Just goes to show the intelligence of quite a number of people.
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Gene Cross, Jr. Boaz, Alabama KawaNOW/VBA #1181 |
01-02-2012, 09:15 PM | #7 |
Sr. Contributor
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Mike did you just discover email??
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I love my Victory Cross Country Tour 106. Smells like Victory! Ultra's are Limited There are two types of Harley riders. Those that trailer them and those that push them. The most Interesting Man in the World "Find the things in life you don't do well and don't do those things" Member # 0005 |
01-02-2012, 09:18 PM | #8 |
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Newmarket Ontario Canada
Posts: 35,387
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And some then run for office.
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2002 Nomad aka Bountyhunter VBA #27 VROC #18951 |
01-03-2012, 12:00 AM | #9 |
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,108
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I'm guessing that politicians are mostly forced into their careers.
• they don't know enough to teach • have no skills to build or repair • not strong or fast enough for competition sports • not smart enough for computer programing • not lucky enough to be gamblers The only requirement is to be a good liar with a nice smile
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2006 Vulcan 1600 Classic "George III" (Patricia's) 2006 Vulcan 1600 Nomad "Grace" (Mark's) Mark Clark VBA #1619 TaibhseDaid@Gmail.Com "Irish" @ Maricopa County Chapter of B.A.C.A. Phoenix, AZ |
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