Daddy's Little Helper

[Loafer]

You know the old saying, “Don’t ever give up?” Well, boy, is that a good saying to remember. I remember one time, my daddy told me that I should always follow through with whatever I did, never leave a job half finished.

So one day, I decided to surprise him by playing mechanic on his brand new car. He was always so proud of this car, like it was a part of the family. `What better way to show my love for my father than by doing something good to his car’ I thought.
At first I was only going to reprogram his radio settings to all the cool stations (since all daddy listened to was boring music). But once I finished replacing his stereo settings, I began to notice many other things wrong with his car.
For example…..his brand new paint job was way too bright. That would surely attract the attention of every highway patrol officer in the county. I had to take care of that, and I had to do it fast. With no other option, I took a black can of spray paint and began to work my magic. I was only able to repaint the passenger side door before the spray paint was all used up. `Crap’ I thought. `Nothing I can do about that now.’
Then, I noticed that his tires were filled up with way too much air. Heaven knows what would have happened if I didn’t take care of that problem. Not wanting to let too much air out of his tires, but not knowing how to do it, I decided to put on my thinking cap. Then an idea occurred to me that would have made Einstein marvel at the brilliance. I decided to take a small razor blade and make tiny little incisions on the surface of his tires. Yes, I know what your thinking: `That won’t do anything.’ But I assure you, after a couple hours, those tires were flatter than a pancake.
I was just about finished, but something *still* didn’t appear right. Then it dawned on me……what better way to make daddy happy then by making his car go faster? It was almost time for him to go on his afternoon drive, so I had to think quickly. Being the smart kid that I am, I knew that the heavier an object was, the more energy it would take for it to move. So therefore, if I made his car lighter, it would go faster. Gosh, sometimes I shock myself with the brilliance I seem to possess.
With no time to spare, I opened my daddy’s hood, and you will never believe what I saw. Wires. Nothing but lots and lots of wires. No wonder daddy always drove that precious car very slowly. He used to tell me that he drove slow so that his car wouldn’t get scratched, but now I know that this was just an excuse. He just didn’t want to tell me that his car was too heavy to go any faster. So you can imagine what I did next. That’s right. I began to yank out every wire I could see. Some were tougher to get out, so I had to cut them, but thank goodness, after 10 minutes, there wasn’t a single wire left in that engine.
And you know what the best part was? The best part was watching my father’s reaction as he walked into the garage. First, his face turned white, almost as if every drop of blood quickly left his body. Then his mouth fell open like a sack of bricks. Right before he fainted, all he kept saying as he lost consciousness was, “You……you……you……”
That’s right dad. It’s your son, and you don’t need to thank me. Honestly, it was my pleasure.
But after seeing his limp, unconscious body laying on the floor of my garage, I started to think that playing mechanic wasn’t such a good idea. I walked over to him, looked at his motionless body, and suddenly realized: Oh goody, now I get to play surgical doctor! Now where did I leave my razor blade scalpel?

[ringadingh]

I'm glad my son is not like that!

[johnberryus]

Whoa