The Bricklayer

[oledawg]

The Bricklayer

This is a Bricklayer's accident report, which was printed in the newsletter of the American Insurance Journal. This is a true story. Had this guy died, he'd have received a Darwin Award for sure..

Dear Sir: "I am writing in response to your request
for additional information in Block 3 of the accident
report form. I put "poor planning" as the cause of my
accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I
trust the following details will be sufficient.

I was alone on the roof of a new six-story building.
When I completed my work, I found that I had some
bricks left over which, when weighed later, were found
to be slightly more than 500 lb.. Rather than carry
the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a
barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the
side of the building on the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the
roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into
it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it
tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form,
that I weigh 135 lb...
Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so
suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let
go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a
rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel,
which was now proceeding downward at an equally
impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull,
minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed
in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed down slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not
stopping until the fingers on my right hand were two
knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this
time I had regained my presence of mind and was able
to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to
experience a great deal of pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of
bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.
Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel
weighed approximately 50 lb..

I refer you again to my weight...
As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent down the
side of the building. In the vicinity of the third
floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for
the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several
lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter
with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my
injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and
fortunately, only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the
pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost
my composure and presence of mind and let go of the
rope. I then lay there watching the empty barrel
beginning its journey back down onto me. This explains
the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your questions. ::)

[ringadingh]

He's certainly shy a few bricks of a full load now isn't he! That would have been something to watch if it really is true. To bad about all those injury's.

[dakals]

Oooooouuuuuuuccccccccchhhhhhhh!!!!!

[basco]

Dumbass :-/

[jussmatt]

I think I saw this on tv once!!! It was as funny to watch as it was to read!!! LOL!

[ridemslow]

Yep thats a song too. Ray Stevens, The Corries and othere have published it. The Bricklayers Song.